Jeni’s Perspective:
For Bob and I, Christmas was major. We always went way overboard in decorating. I can remember one of my bosses walking into my house and looking around in awe. His statement was kinda along the lines “I thought I had overdone it. I am nowhere near this level.”
Once the tree was up, I would grab the string of lights and Bob would chase me around the tree as the lights went on. Christmas music would be blaring and cinnamon sticks would be steeping in the hot apple cider. Box after box of decorations would be opened and placed in every corner of the house. The soap in the bathroom became Christmas soap, the tissue holders changed….everything was Christmas. I baked for weeks in preparation. Christmas Eve was my family. Christmas Day was his family.
Christmas 2006 was our first Christmas as a family instead of a couple. We had brought the kids home July of that year. We went all out and decked the halls in royal style. The gifts most definitely did not fit under the tree. I think they filled the entire room. Bob decided to number the gifts instead of putting names on them. That way, the kids would have to ask for their number before opening a gift. He told them all that if they tried to peak and the gift happened to be theirs, someone else would be the recipient. I had the master key to the numbers and kept it well hidden. Christmas was wonderful that year.
Our adoption was finalized February of 2007 and Christmas 2007 was going to be our first Christmas as a “legal” family. We were excited. Then November 28th of that year, Bob suffered a heart attack and was gone. We were devastated. We struggled just to remain together and get through the days. I remember that my daughter was supposed to sing in a concert and that her teacher would not let her out of it. We were miserable as we sat listening to the songs of the season as our hearts were in tatters.
After that Christmas, I struggled with lights. I just couldn’t put them on the tree. I finally through them all out and bought a prelit tree. Still, putting Christmas up was a struggle but I did my best to make Christmas each year for the kids. I kept the tradition of numbering gifts. There were some good, and some so so years for us.
This year:
This year has been crazy for us. I finally have new love in my life and I am happy with that portion of my life. We have had two new grandchildren this year (both girls) and now have 11 grandchildren under the age of 5. We are preparing to sell this house and move into a new location. We are working toward his retirement and I have started to gather my writings for a future book or books. My youngest daughter and her family haved moved in for a little bit and are sharing the holidays with us. We are visiting with my family, his family and Bob’s family over the Christmas season. It is chaotic but moving forward to a new normal and a new life. I am beginning to look forward to my future. Life is good now.
Teresa’s Perspective:
I have always loved the Christmas season. I have a love for after Christmas sales and buying more Christmas decorations. Kris and I would decorate the entire house and every room with Christmas. He was in charge of lights. He would hang them on the tree just so. After Christmas he would painstakingly put the lights back into the little plastic holders, strand by strand while watching the football games. It was his thing and therapeutic to him.
When Kris was killed in a motorcycle accident, the joy of Christmas was robbed for me for many years. It’s never quite come back. The kids did the tree for a few years and I put up lights outside. The lights did NOT go back into the plastic containers and quickly became a knotted ball. Just like our emotions. I tried to make it OK for the boys. We survived and had holidays – some were good and some were not so great. However, we were together.
This year:
This year is a year of personal changes for us. My youngest is graduating college and married. My eldest is overseas with the Army. It’s just Bill and I. My emotions swirl around the changes and I’m settling into another new normal. Life is full of changes and we keep on moving forward as life moves. I finally attended a holiday party and enjoyed it! Inside we have minimal decorations and a tree. I enjoyed putting up lights outside. I am happy to have a quiet, reflective Christmas and look forward to 2018.
Wherever you are in your journey, we wish you everything you need this season. May you be able to take the time to take care of yourself and your needs throughout this busy season. May you be surrounded by those who comfort you and may you have the strength to ignore the ones who mean well but do not have a clue.
Many Blessings this Holiday Season. May you have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.
What have you experienced? We’d love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts with us. Please contact us.
Peace, love and blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
Want Jeni and Teresa to speak to your group at your event? Contact us.
