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Depression and Grief can often present itself in similar ways. Depression is a disease that requires a  clinical diagnosis. Grief and bereavement are not a disease – they are part of our human experience. Often, the two – depression and grief – have similar symptoms or triggers. However, they are different and distinct and have their own forms in our lives. Sometimes, we identify grief as depression when it is just a deep sadness. This part of the grief journey is a part of the process to move towards acceptance.

Grief may, at times, turn into clinical depression and it is then that we may need to seek additional help from our doctor or counselor to assist us in moving through this step. We do not in any way propose that we are those professionals.  We are providing our perspective and will give you some links to visit for more in depth information.

Sadness/Grief vs. Depression – What’s the Difference?

In sadness and grief, we may be (and most likely are) overcome with a series of emotions. We will laugh, cry, and go through waves of emotions attached to our loss. It is during this time that we may ask the following questions or make the following statements:

• What’s the point?
• Why bother?
• I’m so sad/angry/depressed…
• I’m miss ___ so much, I can’t go on…
• I feel lost
• I’m numb

This is a part of the journey where, once again, you may pass in and out of this stage. It is when you get stuck here for a long duration of time with growing symptoms that you should reach out for assistance from your support group, your church, or medical professional (or all of the above).

When it becomes Depression

At the depression level, the grief and/or sadness no longer tends to come in waves. It merely moves in and takes over and resides with us for the duration.  Most resources we have checked with state that it is when the depression resides for more than 2 weeks, it is then considered depression. We would like to say that whenever you feel that it may have gone too far for you….please reach out for help or assistance.  It is not a weakness to find the help you need.  It actually takes a great deal of strength (even though you may not feel it) to say, “Hey, I am not ok and I need help.”  It is also ok when getting help to identify that something is not working for you and find a different resource or person to help you through this stage.  

Here is a brief excerpt from the American Psychiatry Association website about Grief: (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression)

• In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.

• In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.

• For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people. When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression. Despite some overlap between grief and depression, they are different. Distinguishing between them can help people get the help, support or treatment they need.

Grief Depression defined by the Kubler-Ross model: “…During the [this] stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.” ~https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

Going back to the same American Psychiatric Association Website (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression), here is their definition of clinical depression.

Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:

• Feeling sad or having a depressed mood

• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

• Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

• Loss of energy or increased fatigue

• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)

• Feeling worthless or guilty

• Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions

• Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms must last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression.

Depression is no joke and a serious illness. If you think you might be depressed, please seek professional help.

With grief you may feel sad, depressed and everything in between. Remember, this is part of the grief journey. This place is normal and you’ll cycle around the stages in your journey.  This is a stage and if you begin to feel stuck here and unable to move ahead, it may be time to seek professional help to move forward.

During your journey – especially depression – it can be helpful to get support and help. Read more in our article about When to ask for help. If you have Thoughts of suicide – Get help immediately – call 911 or the US. National suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255

In our upcoming posts, we will talk more about our individual journeys with depression and grief.

Looking for more information about grief, stages, support?  Check out our Resources page or send us an email. We’d love to hear from your

May you find Peace as you journey through this path.  

Teresa & Jeni

Disclaimer: We are not mental health, legal, or financial professionals – nor claim to be. We cannot personally endorse any of these websites, books, or organizations. Please use these sources for information only and consult professionals as necessary.