In 2019, we made the remark that 2020 was going to be a year of “perfect vision” and that it was going to be a phenomenal year. Talking to others, we felt that many of us were feeling the same way...2020 was going to be the best one yet.
Then...enter 2020. On January 1 at 12:30 pm, Jeni received the news that her 2nd mother had passed. The year was not starting well at all. It was not what she had anticipated. She was going to start the year with a memorial service and additional grief.
Later in January, COVID-19 entered our collective awareness and began to be a concern not only to our nation but to the world. All of our worlds were about to change in a drastic way. Gatherings became dangerous. Offices and businesses shut down and we became relegated to our homes. We’re attending church, family gatherings and business meetings through Zoom and other technologies. Large family gatherings for Easter and Passover became much smaller and not our normal celebrations. Just like many widows, the world is seeking a “new normal”.
We are finding some benefits to this way of life. Some families have become closer as they have had to interact with each other more at home and find new ways to entertain themselves. Pollution in many areas has cleared as the factories and traffic are not up and running.
We’ve begun to question how we want to return to normal and have changed some of what we view as important and what may not be quite as crucial as we once believed.
Amidst all of this, we have another holiday coming to celebrate...Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day. More complex given COVID-19. You are still a mother and now you're dealing with it after your partner passed away, Mother’s Day has taken on a whole different feeling as you’re now both Mother and Father. You have all of the responsibilities…..everything adult is you. Managing the best you can while in stay at home/isolation, working, home schooling and grieving. That’s a LOT.
Take time to celebrate - Acknowledge - You’re doing the best you can.
Trying to take time to celebrate you may seem frivolous at this time. It is even more important now.
You are special and deserve acknowledgement and celebration.
You’re still here. You are breathing. Take some time to celebrate these small victories.
Let others celebrate you if they are so inclined. Accept the accolades.
Take some time to acknowledge and celebrate yourself. Do something that you enjoy….take a walk, bubble bath, drink a glass of wine, have some chocolate, read a book, watch a movie….whatever it is that will bring you a moment of peace or joy. Remember, your self care is important.
When we began this isolation, winter was all around us. As spring arrives, take some time to go outside and enjoy the sun and fresh air- even sitting near a window will benefit you. Or, take a blanket outside and enjoy a picnic lunch.
Our thoughts for you as we’ve been through several Mother’s Days.
- You aren’t going to screw up your kids.
- Choose how you want to spend the day - you get to do this for you.
- Love them where they are at in their grief.
- You’re doing the best you can.
- You are all going to get through it --together, as a family.
- It may look a lot different than your original plan.
- You are going to be fine.
- Sometimes good and sometimes not so much - that’s normal.
- Savor the little moments...they grow up way too quickly.
- They are struggling as well and they are trying to accept the new way of things just as you are.
- Let others help and celebrate you.
- If you need help, ask for it. If other’s offer, accept it if it feel right for you
- Feel how you feel and don’t try to stuff it.
We hope you have a blessed Mother’s Day. May you have love and peace on your special day.
We'd like to hear from you. How does this resonate with you? Please share your thoughts with us.
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Peace & Blessings,
Jeni & Teresa