For us, Birthdays were a big deal. The entire family would come together to celebrate. We would have grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles….just everyone. After Bob died, I didn’t feel up to the family gathering but I still wanted each of our children to feel special on their day.
Bob had never enjoyed going to the theater as he didn’t enjoy being around crowds. I had always enjoyed going to plays and would often go with friends. So…I decided to allow each child to pick someone or something they wanted to see in the theater and then I would get the best seats that I could for us to attend. I would make each birthday an event.
My youngest decided Blue Man Group was her event. I was fortunate enough to get us front row seats. We headed out to the theater and I watched my kids get lost in the colors and sounds and, then, at the end, I literally watched my kids swim in the sea of paper that ended the show. It was a welcome relief from the grief.
My birthday brought us to Wicked. It was a show I had always wanted to see. However, tickets were pricey…so we settled for a balcony seat. It was a phenomenal performance and we took many quotes from the show as we moved on. Defying gravity was what we were trying to do as we maneuvered through daily life.
My oldest daughter was in band at school and chose to use her “event” budget to take a trip with her school group. I was kinda bummed that it wasn’t a family event…but, as she reminded me, I was trying to create experiences for the kids and this was the one she wanted.
For my son, Jeff Dunham was who he wanted to see. Neither of the girls were interested, so it would be just me and him….if I could find out where. I searched for his tour dates and found that the closest he came was Ball State University. Ty and I would be spending the night and I got the best seats available (even though they were pretty far back).
For this performance, I was sitting next to my son trying to be a good mom while a comic told off color and other jokes at Ball State. Let me tell you….he had some great material and I was laughing so hard (at the same time thinking I shouldn’t laugh at this stuff in front of my son). Still it was a welcome relief from the everyday.
So why do I write on this in a widow blog? Because I think you should know it is ok to create new traditions, create new memories, and it is ok to laugh. It is ok to go on and to take a break from the everyday.
