Father’s Day Heartache

Father’s Day, can be a difficult and challenging time if you no longer have your father, your husband is deceased and your children no longer have a dad.

As we mentioned in our Mother’s day blessing, you are now The Parent, both Mother and Father. We acknowledge those of you who are single parents. Single parenting is hard work.

Please see our resources page for grief resources for both you and your children. Remember you are doing the best you can and that is enough. Celebrate you are breathing and alive.

The best advice Teresa ever received from a dear friend was that we cannot grieve for our children.  Let’s let that sink in.

We cannot grieve for our children.

We have to let them grieve on their own terms and in their own time. It is their journey and it’s as unique as they are. No two kids will grieve the same. Some may be angry,  others stoic, and others withdrawn. Grief has many “faces”. This all makes logical sense but still, our hearts may hurt for them. We all know, there’s a missing person. They do not have their Dad to spend Father’s Day with or any other major life events.

For you who are left behind, keep on breathing and moving forward.  You can do this. Celebrate that you are making it minute by minute and day by day. You are not going to screw up your kids.  Love them where they are at. You are doing the very best you can. You are all going to get through it --together, as a family. Celebrate the little victories and enjoy every moment that you can. They grow up way too quickly. They need you.

Self care is important every day and Father’s Day is no different.  

Some self care tips and may look like:

  • Set appropriate boundaries for yourself and children
  • Take care of you first. If you take care of you then you can take care of others.
  • Taking the day off
  • Sleeping in,
  • Journaling,
  • Doing something fun for summer - a picnic, swimming, hiking
  • Massage
  • Yoga or exercise
  • Listening to music
  • Making a special memory with your kids
  • Going down memory lane with the kids.

Whatever you choose to do or not do, please do take care of you.

For those with abusive, deceased, missing, or [fill in the blank] fathers. You have a Father in Heaven. He will provide for your needs, is solid, always there and can be your rock. He loves you deeply and you are never alone.

We hope you have a blessed Father’s Day. 

We’d love to hear your thoughts and comments? Please share your thoughts with us.

If you or someone you know find this useful or thought provoking, please click like, share, comment - help us get the word out.

Love & Blessings,

Jeni & Teresa

P.S. Torn in Half News - Jeni and I are writing a book from our blog series and would like to invite our readers to offer subjects, topics or items you want us to blog about and/or include in our book. The intention is to produce a useful resource and workbook for widows and widowers. Please send us your book topics and subjects.

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