Today is the day that we celebrate our fathers. Normally, we envision celebrating the day WITH our fathers. What do we do when our father is deceased? What do we do when our husband is deceased and their father is no longer there to celebrate with them? What do you do?
If you have lost your partner, you are now faced with being both mother and father. You are now a single parent and are fulfilling all the roles–the homemaker, the breadwinner, the comforting parent, the disciplinarian…..etc. It is hard work.
You are doing the best that you can. Remember that. Celebrate the victories…especially the little ones that get us through day to day. If you are looking for grief resources, please visit our resources page for both you and your children.
If you have the energy, find a way to celebrate the person who filled that role in your life. Maybe have his favorite dinner together or watch his favorite show. Maybe he had a favorite activity that you all can participate in and use to enjoy the day as much as possible.
Remember that as much as you all share the grief of the loss, each person’s grief journey may be very different. Your children cannot grieve for you and you cannot grieve for them. Allow them to grieve in their own way and listen to their ideas for honoring the person that they have lost in their lives.
Self care is important for all of you. You may or may not have the energy to celebrate. Allow yourselves to do what is right for you.
Some self care ideas:
- Take care of you….you cannot take care of others if you are running on empty.
- Do something fun
- Get a massage
- Make a special memory
- Take a walk
- Read a book
- Share stories from the past
Whatever you choose to do or not do, please do take care of you.
For those with abusive, deceased, missing, or [fill in the blank] fathers, remember you have a Father in Heaven. He will provide for your needs, is solid, always there and can be your rock. He loves you deeply and you are never alone.
We hope you have a blessed Father’s Day.
We’d love to hear your thoughts and comments? Please share your thoughts with us.
Jeni & Teresa
P.S. Please help spread the word, about the Torn in Half GoFundMe we created in order to increase the reach and effectiveness of this blog. Please help us help others by either contributing or by sharing this request with others. No amount is too small!
Thank you in advance! Jeni & Teresa
