Bob and I had dated off and on for many years before we married. During the end of our courtship, Bob surprised me with a homemade dinner for us at my house. It was an elegant dinner of salad and chicken parmesan. On the table was a vase of peach roses. As we were eating dinner, I realized that among the was a solitary blue carnation and I asked Bob why it was there among the roses. He explained that the bouquet contained one peach rose for each year that we knew each other. “And the blue carnation?” I asked.
He grinned. “Oh that? That one is for the year that you were too busy with college to talk to me. That is our lost year.”
Over the years, whenever he sent roses they were peach roses (I liked them better than red) along with the one blue carnation.
So…when we were ordering the flowers for the funeral…of course I ordered peach roses and a ton of blue carnations to represent all the years that were lost to us. Our marriage should have lasted longer and I felt that each carnation was a year we had lost. I told the florist to just cover the damn casket.
As we got through those first days…I found myself telling the carnation story and our pastor even used this story in preaching Bob’s funeral.
After the funeral was over, many of the flowers came back to the house. For many days….my home smelled like a flower shop. I can remember my youngest sitting amongst the flowers and asking about the importance of the peach roses and blue carnations. After I told her, she sighed and said “how romantic”.
Peach roses and blue carnations…to me, they still represent love and loss. Whenever I visit my husband’s grave, I still bring him peach roses and blue carnations I even had a vase added to his headstone so that there was a place for these flowers.
