Mother’s Day is totally different now. You are now both Mother and Father. Single parenting is hard. People are still trying to help you handle the events of life. You, however, are amazing. You are moving on. You are breathing. Celebrate that. As we continue to say, self care is important. Mother’s Day is no different. Even if it is just sleeping in or spending a few extra minutes in the shower, take care of you. If others are willing to celebrate you, let them. You deserve it.
Jeni’s Musings
Celebrating Mother’s Day with Bob and the kids was wonderful. After many years of just being a couple, we had become parents through adoption. Bob made sure there was flowers, cards and a dinner for the Mother’s Day we all had together. It was the only Mother’s Day that we would celebrate as a family for it was the following November that he passed. Now, I had to be both Mother and Father and Mother’s day was going to be just me and the kids.
Honestly, I don’t remember the first one after Bob died. I think I was still in a haze.I remember over the years trying to make the day more about being a family, regardless of what had happened, as opposed to celebrating me. I was just trying to get through the day to day.
Over the years, there have been cards, dinners, etc. and it has been nice. I have since become not only mom but Mamaw (the southern term for grandma) as well. Sometimes I feel lost between the Great Grandma, Grandma and mom roles that now surround me. I struggle with celebrating others (my mom and my kids who are now moms) and wishing that I were celebrated. However, nothing beats being handed scribbles from my grandkids that they tell me say, I love you Mamaw. I love the hugs and kisses that come from them and that is celebration enough for me.
Teresa’s Musings
Mother’s day was always with my mom and me. Dad and Kris would BBQ out surf and turf of some sort. The kids would help out as they could and it was a day of relaxation. My first Mother’s day, I was struggling to be a Mom. One of my dear friends and her sons got together with my two sons and we all went out for an Italian lunch after church. She then dragged me to get a pedicure so I’d have pretty feet for a treat. I was thankful and felt blessed. I was glad for the time and just being taken care of. Now, it’s different as the boys have grown and are not always here to celebrate. I cherish my time with my boys when I get to see them or talk to them. We’ve survived and are doing really well. My son’ think I’m the best mom ever (at least today). This Mother’s day I hope to see them both, we’ll see what they plan and are able to come up with. I’m happy with whatever, a call is good, seeing them great. I have no expectations and know we love each other regardless of what day it is.
Single parenting is a new ball game in itself and it is not a role we were expecting as a married couple. However, events have changed and we now have this new unwelcomed role in our life. You are breathing and moving forward. You can do this. Celebrate that you are making it minute by minute and day by day. You are not going to screw up your kids. Love them where they are at (best advice Teresa ever got). You are doing the best you can. You are all going to get through it –together, as a family. You are going to be fine. Celebrate the little victories and enjoy every moment that you can. They grow up way too quickly.
You can do this!
Do what you can for self care: sleep in, eat the food you like, listen to your music, watch a movie, go get your nails or hair done, get a massage, take a bubble bath, walk in nature, whatever makes you smile and feel good. You deserve this.
We hope you have a blessed Mother’s Day. May you have love and peace on your special day.
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Love & Blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
