We are at the end of our Let’s Talk About the Grief Journey and Stages topics — Acceptance. Remember this is a journey with many hills and valleys. The stages are NOT linear and we don’t stop grieving when we begin to feel acceptance. Click here for a review of the stages . This complicated journey you may feel all or none of the stages in 5 minutes or 5 months. It’s all in your own time,
Acceptance
Does not mean that we are okay with what happened or are ignoring the loss. It merely means that we realize that there is a “before” and an “after”. What was normal before may not (and most likely is not) going to be normal now. There is the you “before” the event and the you “after” the event.
Acceptance as defined by the Kubler-Ross model: “In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
Acceptance – What’s normal & may look/feel like?
- You recognize and accept your partner is not coming back
- You are starting to have more good days and fewer bad days.
- You may be ready for new friendships, connections, volunteering, and/or new experiences,
- You are no longer in denial
- You reach out for help and support
- You reassign and/or take on new roles of the deceased
- You’re ready to make a memorial or honor your loved one.
What acceptance may sound like:
- My spouse died, and I’m going to be survive.
- Teresa has her clients say to themselves “____ died” and not dry heave or breakdown for 1 min moving to being able to tell others as a process of moving towards acceptance.
- I can do this
- I know I’ll survive this
Acceptance is where you begin to accept your new reality and your new life. It’s the start of that term new normal. You are ready to embrace the new responsibilities of this new normal. Be patience and don’t try to rush to get to this stage.
One way to support yourself is keeping a gratitude journal. If you are still having a challenge finding acceptance and it’s been over a year, it may be time to get additional support and seek a professional.
During your journey it can be helpful to get support and help. Read more in our article about When to ask for help. If you have Thoughts of suicide – Get help immediately – call 911 or the US. National suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255
In our upcoming posts, we will talk more about our individual acceptance journeys.
Want more information about grief, stages, support? Check out our Resources page or send us an email.
May you find Peace as you journey through this path.
Teresa & Jeni
