At first let it go – no one cares about your home’s cleanliness. If they really do they will clean it for you.
Once you have begun breathing again and started a new daily routine, you may notice that the house may have gone unnoticed in the grief process. That is normal. Let those dust bunnies grow. It’s OK.
If it feels way TOO big, ask someone to help, there are those just waiting to help you. They want you to ask and know it’s OK to help. You need to give them permission so that they know they are not overstepping. Also, do not be afraid to let them know your boundaries if there are areas you want left untouched for now.
For those supporting the grieving – this can be a huge help
- Please ask first what the bereaved would like or tolerate
- Offer to help clean
- Arrange a cleaning party with friends
- Hire someone to clean for your bereaved
- Respect the areas that they do not want touched.
One of my cherished moments was when two friends came over – complete with new cleaning supplies and said, “Hey, we’re here to help clean, where shall we start? Do you want to help or just direct?” I had options. They also brought over treats and we had a time visiting and then all cleaned together. I still have my beloved Swiffer. ~Teresa
One of the “gifts” I received after Bob’s passing was a cleaning service that came in and helped. I remember feeling relieved of the task. ~Jeni
When you are up to it – cleaning tips
- Decide what is clean enough?
- Do you want help from friends or family?
- I enlisted my boys to help and made a chore list ~Teresa
- I have allowed others to help when needed ~Jeni
- Pick a task per day or do it on a day when it feels right?
- I chose one Saturday per month and enlisted the boys help. It was a start of our new normal. – Teresa
- I have played with different methods. Choosing a day, paying a kid, doing little things here and there. ~Jeni
- Big tasks Sorting boxes. Now, I am getting ready to sell the house so that has forced the issue as we prepare to sell the house. ~Jeni
- Celebrate you took some action and did something. Even just a high five to yourself.
Some Tips for Keeping It Clean
- If you can’t tackle the huge projects, tackle the little ones
- Wipe out the tub when taking a shower
- Wipe off bathroom sinks when you brush your teeth
- Dust the dresser when you get dressed
- Start a load of laundry before work
- Swap it when you get home
- Hang it up from the dryer – no ironing!
- The little 5 minute projects make you feel accomplished
- Use door mats to collect the mud, leaves, etc. from outside
- Window cleaner is a quick cleaner trick to spiff up the kitchen and bath
- Get all the machines (dishwasher, laundry) running while doing other things, that way you are accomplishing multiple items at the same time. You can use the time the machines are working to either clean or watch something on the tv….your choice.
- Keep cleaners handy in the messiest locations, kitchen, bath, etc.
- Have wipes available in high dirt areas as well
Above all, realize that you need to be comfortable in your space. How do you want it to look and feel? There is no pressure and no one is grading you on your house or how clean you keep it. The nicer it is for you, the better you will feel. So, do what you can and feel up to doing. Celebrate when you do accomplish something. Get someone else to do the rest for you — allow yourself to be taken care of when needed.
Here’s to not dreading spring cleaning too much. May you find the peace and ease of living comfortably with your new reality.
We’d love for you to share your cleaning stories or tips? Please share your thoughts with us.
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Peace & Blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
