Honoring Memorial Day & When a holiday falls on a big day

As we all know, big days tend to hit hard. When holidays coincide with a big day, the feelings may be intensified. For while everyone is celebrating or remembering something major as a whole group, you are still sitting there with your special day and it seems like you are alone with your thoughts while everyone else is celebrating for another separate reason.

For Jeni, this seems to happen quite frequently. Her Bob passed away on November 28th, 2007 and his birthday was May 31st. His death date just so happened to be on her sister-in-law’s birthday which the whole family rightfully wants to celebrate. As well, it sometimes coincides on Thanksgiving…a day where we are all supposed to be thankful. Thankful? Right….it is sometimes hard to be thankful for THAT day. This year, as in many years, Bob’s birthday lands on Memorial Day. When he was alive, we would just have a double reason to celebrate/remember. Now, it just feels …well, odd.

If this happens on your journey, know it’s perfectly okay to feel odd, sad, and a mix of emotions on those big days that happen to coincide with larger holidays. Acknowledge this feeling and be aware it’s different for you. Embrace the breadth of emotions and be gentle with yourself. Share with others in your circle that this particular day is different for you. Take good care of you.

On to Honoring Memorial Day

In honor of those who have served and paid the ultimate price of death and especially those who they have left behind. We dedicate this blog to you on this Memorial Day weekend.

Memorial Day is a day to remember. Remember the fallen. Remember who’s been left behind to carry on. Memorial day is not about the three-day weekend, blowout sales, parties, and BBQs. Memorial Day is about those service men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice, dying while serving in the military, and protecting our rights.

To our family members who’ve served: Jeni’s son served as a Marine and her significant other retired after over 20 years of service in the Army. Teresa’s brother served in the Navy during the Vietnam war, her youngest son served in the US Army reserve and her eldest is active in the US Army Infantry and others who have served. They are adamant that this is not a day about them. It’s about those who died in the line of duty. Even so, we are both thankful that our loved ones came home and we honor those who did not. We are truly thankful for their choice to serve and many sacrifices while serving.

May 5, 1868, Decoration Day, as Memorial Day, was originally called, was established as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Memorial Day became an official federal holiday in 1971.

Take a moment to remember and thank those that served and died in their service while you enjoy your three-day weekend, go to that sale, party, or BBQ. Educate others, especially children of the purpose of this day.

Some suggestion and education for how to honor our fallen heroes:

Fly the American Flag – half-staff from sunrise to noon and then full staff noon to sunset.
Place American Flags on each grave in national cemeteries.
Observe a moment of silence.
- The National Moment of Silence occurs at 3pm local time on Memorial Day.
Visit a Memorial – find the visiting Vietnam Walls or other memorials.
Donate to veterans and military support groups. For a list see resources below.
Wear a red poppy.
- The wearing of the poppy dates to 1918 and is called The Flanders Field Memorial Poppy in honor of those who died in World War I.
Read “In Flanders Fields” or “ We Shall Keep the Faith”

While many who read this know the grief that comes from losing our spouse, we can only imagine the grief that comes from losing a family member in the service and having to carry on. As many of us know, the grieving can be a poignant and challenging time. Their loved one is gone and they are sincerely missed by many. Honoring them is a part of the grieving process. However it may show up, allow them to embrace grieving that loss.

We know that the grieving process is a true journey that takes time. You don’t get over it…you learn to live with it and the memories. This journey takes its own path and is deeply personal. Allow grief to happen and support those around you who are traveling the journey—however it looks.

We deeply respect those who have served and paid that ultimate price while serving in our military. We honor both them and their surviving families that carry on without their loved ones. On this Memorial Day, we remember, honor and embrace you.

Sending peace and blessings to you.

Teresa & Jeni

Memorial Day & Veterans Resources

Memorial Day Specific Information, History, Ways to Honor