Honoring the Fallen – Torn in Half

This Memorial Day, we pause with reverence and gratitude. We dedicate today’s blog to those who gave their lives while serving in the military and those left behind who daily carry their memory.

Memorial Day is not just a long weekend.
It is not about sales, barbecues, or summer celebrations.
It is a day to remember.

To remember the fallen.
To remember the families who continue to live in the sacred shadow of their sacrifice.

To honor those who made the greatest sacrifice.

As widows, we intimately understand the weight of grief and the profound journey it demands. While our losses came in different ways, our hearts are deeply connected to those who grieve a loved one lost in service. While we have been discussing the various types of grief, we realize that the grief involved in losing a member in service to our country has many additional layers. There is pride in their purpose and sacrifice, combined with the sorrow of personal loss, and the aching silence of “what could have been.”

Both of us have family members who have served, and thankfully, we have not received that dreaded knock on the door. Jeni’s son served in the U.S. Marine Corps, her nephew serves in the Army, and her significant other retired after over 20 years in the U.S. Army. Teresa’s brother served in the Navy during Vietnam, one son in the U.S. Army Infantry, another in the Army Reserve, and one now serves in the Air Force National Guard Reserves. We are thankful for their service to our country.

However, we want to take a moment to note that each of our family service members reminds us that Memorial Day is not about those who came home. It’s about those who did not.

We’re profoundly grateful to all who choose to serve, especially those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Why We Remember

Originally known as Decoration Day, Memorial Day began on May 5, 1868, as a time to decorate the graves of soldiers who died in the Civil War. It became a federal holiday in 1971, honoring all U.S. military personnel who died in service to their country.

So as you gather this weekend, whether you attend a cookout, enjoy time with loved ones, or simply pause, we invite you to carry the true meaning of this day in your heart.

Simple Ways to Honor Our Fallen

🇺🇸 Fly the American Flag at half-staff until noon, then raise it to full-staff.

🕒 Observe the National Moment of Remembrance at 3 PM local time.

🎖️ Place flags on graves in national cemeteries or local memorials.

🏛️ Visit a memorial site, such as The Wall That Heals or other traveling exhibits.

🌺 Wear a red poppy, inspired by the WWI poem In Flanders Fields.

📚 Read aloud “In Flanders Fields” or “We Shall Keep the Faith.”

💙 Donate to organizations supporting Gold Star families, widows, and veterans.

👨‍👩‍👧 Talk with children and loved ones about the true meaning of Memorial Day.

Some Grief Advice

While many who read this know the grief that comes from losing a spouse, we can only imagine the depth of losing a loved one in service to our country.

Remember that grief does not follow a schedule, does not fit in a box, and comes in waves, uninvited and unpredictable.

For those who’ve lost someone in military service, Memorial Day can feel bittersweet or even heavy. I can involve a complex set of emotions, including a reminder of absence, and patriotism filled with national gratitude.

To those carrying that grief:
We see you. We honor your story. We hold space for your loss.

Whether your grief is recent or decades old, know that you are not alone.

We Remember. We Honor.

To the fallen, we offer our most profound respect.
To the families who continue to grieve, we offer our support.
To our readers, we encourage remembrance in silence and conversation.

This Memorial Day, may we honor not just with words, but with action, compassion, and heartfelt gratitude.

With peace & blessings,
Teresa & Jeni

Resources to Learn and Support

Memorial Day Education & History

Support for Families, Veterans, and Widows