In our last blog, we talked about how sometimes people want you to get over it, be ready to move on, telling us to just “pick ourselves up” and get on with life BEFORE we are ready to take that step. But…what about when you are ready to move on? When YOU are ready to take that next step…and THEY think you are moving too fast?
Again, we go back to the concept that this is YOUR journey and only you can travel it. Yes, others can help (or hinder) the process, but only you can decide what steps you are comfortable taking along the way.
What if I smile or laugh? It’s OK
What if I don’t cry? It’s OK
What if I am actually happy…even if for a moment? It’s OK
What if I don’t want to talk about it? It’s OK
What if I do want to talk about it? It’s OK
What if I want to go out and have some fun? It’s OK
What if I want to go out and have dinner? It’s OK
Want to leave your ring on? It’s OK
Want to remove your ring? It’s OK
Want to move your ring to the other hand? It’s OK
Want to take a trip by yourself? It’s OK
Want to just stay home? It’s OK
Just as you can take your time (and we recommend you do so) in the healing process after your loss, it is ok to move on. In our wedding vows, we promised till death do us part. Even though we never thought about that actually happening…it has happened and we have to find a way to move through the pain to the other side. Finding joy again is not denying the love you shared with your loved one. You can honor the past and still move forward with your life.
Again, our vows stated until death do us part. It wasn’t death plus 10 seconds, 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months, or even 10 years. As painful as it was, our vows were completed when our loved one was lost. We do need to take time to recover but we can move on at our own pace and not feel guilty that we are not honoring our loved one.
It’s OK to not be OK; however, it is just as OK to be ready to …be YOU again. Your life and your world has most certainly changed. Though the journey may be difficult…your speed is up to you.
Again, It’s OK to take it at your speed.
Even if that speed is faster than others want you to travel. Put your foot on the gas or the brake. It is up to YOU and YOUR comfort level. There is no speed limit on this journey.
It’s OK. YOU are OK.
We’re considering opening up an online widows group. Please let us know your thoughts and what you might like to see in an online widows group. Click here to share your ideas.
Please share our site and resources with others in your life who might benefit from our work. We would also like to ask that you let us know if there is anything additional you would like to see in our site. Please contact us here.
Remember – It’s OK. YOU are OK.
Peace & Blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
PS: For additional support you can download our free copy of 10 Ways to Move Forward After Loss
Torn in Half: The First Days as a resource for the first days after a loss – available on Amazon in paperback and ebook.
