Do you feel stuck in your grief? What is the difference between normal grieving and being stuck?
Psychologists call being stuck in grief prolonged or complicated grief.
First let’s discuss what is normal and when grief does become complicated.
All of the “stages” and feelings of grief are perfectly normal with grief. The feelings typically become less consuming and become less intense over time. There is no time limit for grief. In general after weeks, months and (for some) years the intense feelings start to fade and become a little less consuming and intense. It may take longer depending upon the grief and trauma that occurred with the death and that unique relationship you had with your loved one.
Grief becomes complicated or prolonged when it generally lasts more than six months to a year after the death of a loved one. Things like sudden unexpected and traumatic deaths can be more prone to complicated grief.
We would like you to remember that this is YOUR Journey and will be a very unique one. While there are similarities in the grief timelines, stages and what not, your travels through them may be very different from others. However, there is a time when you may want to consider assistance in your travels. It is not weak to ask for help.
A few of the signs you may be stuck in grief are below:
- Avoidance of things that remind you of loss – repressing loss, not allowing herself to grieve
- Intense longing or yearning for your deceased loved one
- Avoidance of situations and activities that are reminders of the loved one
- Preoccupation or obsession or thinking about the death a lot.
- Feeling consumed by death, the death, thoughts of the death, etc.
- Unable to acknowledge the death, living in the past, unable to move forward
- Inability to face each day after the initial period of mourning
When looking for assistance, make sure to get someone who understands your journey and who understands you. You might be lucky and find that person right away or you may have to try a few before getting the right person to help you. Do not be afraid to let someone out of your journey so that you may move forward and do not be afraid to let the right person in to bring you forward. You may wish to consider a trained professional (counselor, therapist, pastor, or coach). Jeni and I will discuss this in a future blog.
Want to learn more and get the Are You Stuck in Grief Checklist?
Please attend one our August Seminars
Want Jeni and Teresa to speak to your group at your event? Please contact us.
