It’s Valentine’s Day. Candy, Hearts, Stuffed Animals, Flowers and all that mushy stuff seems to be everywhere.
And, you may be thinking…
BAH HUMBUG. It’s perfectly OK to not be in the mood and ignore the day.
What does it matter now that my loved one is gone? Who am I going to celebrate with? Why celebrate? Why can’t I just curl up in a ball and ignore the whole blasted day?
What am I supposed to do on this day of love, hearts, and candy?
Simple answer…do what you feel comfortable doing. It’s OK
Want to stay home? Do it. Our advice is while you are there…do something for you. Take a bubble bath, read a book, go for a walk, have a nice cup of your favorite beverage, sleep in.
Need some ideas. Here are some of our thoughts:
Things to Consider and Prepare
- Acknowledge the feelings – they may be intense. Let them flow. Take time for the grief.
- How do you want to spend the day? Alone, working, surrounded by friends or family?
- Do you want to do something in honor or because of your lost loved one?
- Write them a letter or poem, save it, read it to them, burn it?
- Visit their grave site or talk to their urn? Leave a flower or note?
- Light a candle in honor. Sit with the loss.
- Journal your thoughts, feelings and desires.
- Fix your favorite dinner or go to dinner at your old favorite place?
- Visit your favorite place that the two of you used to go.
- Get yourself the flowers that he used to get.
- Share your favorite memories with your family, friends or children.
- Share how you first met, most romantic date, previous Valentines.
- Take time for some self care – whatever that means to you.
- Do you know other widows? Maybe write or send them a valentine to let them know they are still thought about on this day.
- While chocolate and binging might be good the first year….after that you may want to consider healthier alternatives or at least…portion control.
- Call a friend and make plans with them for the day.
- Thank others and tell them you love them.
- Volunteer – show someone or other animals some love. Animal rescue/shelters are a great way to get free love from animals.
Need other ideas? Here are some tips and hints for preparing for the holidays. We also have 3 Tips to Survive a holiday event that may be of interest.
If you are feeling really low or overwhelmed – please get support from a professional – be that your spiritual leader, therapist, coach. Know that you don’t need to do this alone and asking for help and support is the first step to moving forward. Here is an article we wrote on when to ask for help and what types of help you may need.
We’re considering opening up an online widows group. Please let us know your thoughts and what you might like to see in an online widows group. Click here to share your ideas.
Please share our site and resources with others in your life who might benefit from our work. We would also like to ask that you let us know if there is anything additional you would like to see in our site. Please contact us here.
Peace & Blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
PS: For additional support you can download our free copy of 10 Ways to Move Forward After Loss
Torn in Half: The First Days as a resource for the first days after a loss – available on Amazon in paperback and ebook.
