This is the last blog in our self-care series. We’ve discussed Planning self-care, What Self Care Looks Like with some simple, easy ideas, Boundary Struggles and how they can be tricky but important to self-care, and lastly, Boundaries are Self-Care – how setting them is a form of self-care, examples of healthy boundaries with references to how to set them as well.
One of the biggest things that we would like you to remember is that self-care is essential. Self-care is NOT selfish; it’s taking care of you and your needs and not sacrificing your own well-being to please others. You have to take care of YOU in order to be able to do anything else.
You might be thinking, “Great. With all of this going on, I need to take care of myself.” Yes, please do!
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up and be hard on ourselves. When we’re grieving, we can get stuck in a place of fear, anger, guilt, would have, could have, and should have that can be very unkind to ourselves.
When we say self-love and loving yourself, we mean showing kindness and compassion towards ourselves. It is also an appreciation for yourself and intentionally taking care of YOU!
Do you like yourself?
Better yet….do you love yourself?
Some days, it is so hard to look in the mirror and say to that person looking back…” Hey, I like you!” or, better yet, “Hey, I love you!”
How in the world do you do that? Especially when your world has fallen apart.
Some ideas for self-love
- Be kind to yourself
- Kind self-talk – how you talk to yourself and how you talk to others about yourself
- Set healthy boundaries with yourself (yup, there’s that important topic again)
- Make yourself a priority
- Trust in yourself
- Have patience with yourself
- Forgive yourself – let go of the past and know you are doing the best you can
- Have self-compassion and give yourself grace
- Gratitude for yourself, what you are doing, and how you’re surviving
- Embrace your strengths – remember what you are good at
- Celebrate what you are accomplishing
If you’re struggling with this, you might want to enlist a trusted friend to assist you. They like you; therefore, you are likable. You just have to find a way to like that person in the mirror. It may take time and practice. Have patience and try again.
You are enough. You can do this. Take a look in that mirror and smile–your journey is difficult, and you are worth all the love you can muster.
Please remember to take care of yourself and practice self-love. Putting on your oxygen mask before you put it on others is a way to remember that your well-being and you are important.
Remember It’s OK to Take Good Care of You – in fact, it is vital!
Over the next two weeks, Torn in Half will be practicing self-care and taking time off. We’ll be back at the end of the month. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself and lean into self-care and loving yourself.
Our next series topic is Grief Struggles; please contact us and let us know of any particular grief struggles or topics you’d like us to explore. We appreciate your support and input.
Peace & blessings,
Teresa & Jeni
PS: For additional support, you can download our free copy of 10 Ways to Move Forward After Loss
Torn in Half: The First Days as a resource for the first days after a loss – available on Amazon in paperback and ebook.
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