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Having traveled this journey people often ask us what they should do. What are our tips to couples?

First, if you have lost someone recently, our deepest sympathies go out to you and your loved ones. You may be in grief or anticipatory grief and planning ahead. Take it slow.

If you are planning ahead that’s the best thing you can do for yourself and loved ones. If you are in grief, take it slow and know that your logical brain isn’t functioning like it used to. 

Planning for the death of a loved one – morbid? No, it is something that is critical to you and your loved ones. The reality is that it is very unlikely that you both will die at the same moment.  Even if you do, you will have your last wishes and will prepared and shared with families.

The discussion can be uncomfortable but lean into that discomfort and have the discussion in order to provide your family with the ability to grieve their loss without additional burdens.

Here are some first steps to help you prepare for the unthinkable that may happen. 

1. Talk about it together. Discuss the wishes and desires each of you have
   1. What is most important?
   2. Write down your wishes and desires and keep a copy in a safe place.
   3. Share and communicate with your loved ones these wishes and desires
2. Plan – for what if

1. 1. Ideally getting legal documents in place. 
   2. If not, at least write down what your desires so that others know what you want.
   3. Know the names of doctors, lawyers, financial planners, employee numbers, etc.
   4. Keep a file of important information in a location where it can be found.

Vital Documents that are useful

1. Last will & testament
2. Living Wills & Health Care Proxy
3. Power of Attorney 
4. Financial information
5. Insurance & Life insurance details
6. Health care and doctor information

Life Insurance …get it!

Jeni’s husband did not want to face this discussion as it meant physicals and doctors and he did not like going to the doctor.  So, he kept putting off getting the insurance needed. Fortunately, the coverage they had through employment took care of the immediate expenses of the funeral and such but left little else.  If we had been able to get the insurance needed, we could have allowed ourselves the ability to cover some of the burden created by the loss of his income and just move through the grief process.

Teresa’s husband almost didn’t sign the life insurance documents in time. He literally signed them days before his death. Grumbling about the cost and NOT signing the double indemnity clause. “I’m not paying an extra $24 a month, nope, not like I’m going to die anytime soon, I’m only 42.” That unchecked box and not paying the $24 cost Teresa and her kids millions. The life insurance was enough to cover our living costs for a while and pay off some debt. Thankfully we had it and thankfully it was signed barely in time. I can’t imagine what we’ve have done if he hadn’t.

Planning for the death of a loved one is not fun. However, NOT planning and being left to deal with the death with no plan is awful. We encourage you to take some steps and put in place what you want before hand. Take it in steps and celebrate what you can plan for. Just don’t wait for someday – because someday may be today. You never know what God’s plan is. 

What has been your experience? 

Please, let us know your thoughts, comment, and share.

Jeni & Teresa

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