New Year’s resolutions. Ugh.
Sometimes, just getting through each day can be daunting when grieving. Just surviving seems like enough. Enter the new year with everyone calling for fresh starts, a new year, a new you, goals, and hope for the future. Really? Everything has just changed in your world, and the world wants you to make more changes? It really can be just too much.
You might be ready for new starts and setting goals, but you might not. That’s perfectly OK. You know best where you are in your journey. You can decide how to enter the new year and what is best for you.
One way to look at the new year is as an opportunity for self-care, self-compassion, and growth. Here are some ideas that may help you decide what you would like to do as you start the year:
- Take some time and reflect on your progress and where you are in your journey
- Remember that grief is not a straight path. It has dips and turns along the way.
- There is no right or wrong way to feel. Take time with your emotions and let them process.
- If you are feeling stuck, it is ok to ask for help. It takes strength to ask for help, which is a brave step.
- Think about what you have learned in this process
- Consider where you would like to be and what you want to do.
- Consider what you want for the year. Setting gentle intentions for self-care, self-compassion, and personal growth are some ideas.
Intentions give a direction without a set time or goal. Honor who you are and where you want to go in your grief journey.
- If you’re ready for goals, be gentle and set small goals you can achieve – here’s an article to support you: https://torninhalf.com/working-with-your-goals-and-intentions/
- Remember, self-care is an important part of the grief journey. Consider those items that nourish you in body, mind, and spirit.
- Examples of Gentle Intentions – a focus on self-care
- I will prioritize my self-care by listening to my needs. Here’s an article to support your self-care: https://torninhalf.com/loving-yourself-is-self-care/
- I will give myself grace and compassion
- I will seek moments of joy -big and small
- I will find things that bring me peace – walking, meditation, yoga, prayer, meditation.
- I will explore ways to express my feelings and emotions in healthy ways – gardening, writing, drawing, and dancing, for example.
- I will connect with friends and family that are supportive and uplifting.
- Celebrate You.
You have gone through one of the most challenging events that occur in life, and you have survived. Give yourself grace and patience as you continue your journey. Here are some things to consider as you celebrate yourself:
- You are resilient. You are traveling a courageous journey of life after loss.
- List your accomplishments, both big and small
- What brings you joy or comfort? Treat yourself to that.
- How have you grown or adapted? Do you know the strength that shows?
- Take it a step at a time
- When overwhelmed, give yourself the grace to slow down and breathe
- Recognize that healing and growth do not happen overnight. Take it at your pace
- Celebrate small victories
- Allow yourself the freedom to create your path and to say no to anything that does not work for you.
- Know that everything does not have to happen all at one time
- Take it one day at a time. If that is too much, take it one minute at a time until you can do more.
- Allow yourself to be happy again. It is OK to smile.
- Try a new hobby
- Sign up for that class you always wanted to try
- Go for a nature walk
- Pick a travel destination that you would like to explore…and GO!
- Adopt a gratitude practice. You can start by noticing one thing to be thankful for each day.
- Seeking A Supportive Community
You don’t have to do this alone. Grief can be isolating and a time for finding others who can relate. Reaching out to others who understand and are supportive is an essential step in moving forward with your grief.
Finding Community
- Finding community and connections can be a challenge for widows/widowers. Here’s an article for support and ideas: https://torninhalf.com/finding-community-and-connection/
- Seek a support group – online or in person. Griefshare.org is one that Jeni & Teresa have embraced and found helpful on their grief journeys.
- Cultivate and deepen relationships with trustworthy, supportive friends and family.
- Seek workshops and events on healing, growth, and things that interest you.
- Try volunteering to meet new people and form a community
When we find community and can share our story, we can realize we’re not alone.
Entering a year of Hope and Healing
We wish you a year of hope and healing. The coming year is yours to shape how you need it to. Take the time you need for reflection, setting intentions, self-care, celebrating your journey, and finding community. Honor grief, embrace your resilience, and explore the possibilities of what’s to come. Life will bring its ups and downs. Seek the opportunities for healing, connection, and joy.
Remember, you’ve made it to the present moment and are doing your best. Take your time as you move forward—one day, one step, and one moment at a time.
Here’s to a new year filled with grace, growth, and the quiet courage of your journey.
Peace & blessings to you.
Teresa & Jeni
PS: For additional support, you can download our free copy of 10 Ways to Move Forward After Loss
The First Days: Coping with Life After Loss is a resource for the first days after a loss – available on Amazon in paperback.
My Journey as a Widow: A Widow’s First Journal is a follow-up journal for processing complex emotions and moving forward with hope. It is available in paperback on Amazon.
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