We opened the year with gentle goal setting and now we’re going to dig deeper into this subject. We understand that even the thought of goals when you are grieving can be totally overwhelming. Just remember, that the goals themselves do not have to be large. Even small goals can help in moving forward. If setting even the small goals feels too staggering, perhaps setting an intention for the year will be more comfortable for you. It’s also OK to keep your goals simple, such as – breathe for the year.
Intentions are how you want to be, feel and intend to take action on. Intentions tend to be more internal and the process to achieving a goal. Intentions are positive and connected to a larger goal. For example, an intention statement may be “this month I intend to feel more peaceful.” The linking goal to this intention may be “I will breathe and pray when I’m overwhelmed to feel more peace.”
Goals are something you want to do in the future or achieve. Goals are often more external and concrete than intentions- think SMART goals. There are many types of goals. Some are small and some are larger. When you have a larger goal, it may help to break it down into smaller steps.
Working with your goals and intentions
- Decide what’s important & why you want to work on this
- Write it down – this takes it from a theoretical mental exercise & helps define it
- Share your goal with someone – increases likelihood of achieving it
- Break the goal into small micro steps/goals
- Plan the first step
- If you’re up to doing SMART goals – set a date, time and by when you want to accomplish
- Keep working on it
- Cross off completed items from your list – this will add to your sense of accomplishment
- Celebrate and acknowledge EACH step
- Give yourself grace when you have to take a break or take a step back
- Get back up when you are able to tackle more. Know that you CAN do this.
- Check in on your intentions and celebrate your progress – no matter how small it seems
Taking steps to set intentions and goals while grieving can be really hard. Celebrate that you’re even considering it. They are terrific ways to move forward and feel a sense of accomplishment. Also, remember to practice the art of self care and to include this in your goal list. Taking care of you is just as important, if not more so, as all of the “tasks” of life.
All of us on this widow journey have learned that it is a twisted journey that follows no specific path. There will be days where you may feel you can conquer the world. Other days, it will be a huge effort just to breath and get out of the bed. On the days where you feel that you can tackle items, go ahead and do what you can. On those days where you struggle with the basics of life, take your time. Give yourself grace and allow yourself to process the emotions. Remember your intention and lean into that. Those bigger goals will be there when you once again have the energy to tackle them.
Take time to celebrate even the small achievements. Each step is a step closer to your goal.
It’s OK and you’re OK. No matter if you’re setting intentions. goals, or just surviving. Where you are is OK. Know you’re not alone.
One of our goals this year is to grow our audience and assist more widows who are traveling on this journey. Please help us in achieving this goal by sharing our site with others who need it in their lives. You can also follow us on Facebook and LinkedIn or sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of our site. If you have a topic that you would like us to discuss, please contact us.
Peace & blessings,
Jeni & Teresa
PS: For additional support, you can download our free copy of 10 Ways to Move Forward After Loss
Torn in Half: The First Days as a resource for the first days after a loss – available on Amazon in paperback and ebook.
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